we're all just taller children

ihititwithmyaxe:

coolator:

the turkey swiss on rye incident

OMG the exciting conclusion. I’ve always wondered how this ended.

apolla-savre:

thetasrose:

kediil-eperu:

ursulavernon:

Great. Now I have a totally new thing to worry about.

How even the what what

Uh, sir. Your house…

It’s just like, “I give up”

apolla-savre:

thetasrose:

kediil-eperu:

ursulavernon:

Great. Now I have a totally new thing to worry about.

How even the what what

Uh, sir. Your house…

It’s just like, “I give up”

lukes-fave-babe:

lukes-fave-babe:

Bae: Come over
Me; I can’t.
Bae: I got the Winter Solider on DVD
Me:

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I waitevSIX MONTHS TO MAKE THIS POST
FUVKING REBLOG

raeloganthemephilesfangirl:

sardinesawesomeness:

annaml:

Hands down, my favorite reoccurring joke.

You forgot this one 

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madmanwithaband:

Classic

What if women had minstrel cycles instead of menstrual cycles? You’d just have a guy with a lute follow you around for a week every month and play you songs constantly?

My boyfriend (via thecarrionlibrarian)

#no but can you imagine if that was how you learned once a month you weren’t pregnant#by some dude singing songs about the victory of it#you wake up and he’s there and you are so happy#this dude becomes your favorite dude#but then you realize you haven’t seen your friend’s minstrel in a while#I mean everyone notices#like half the people are on the same cycle so for one week out of four your job is just flooded with fucking minstrels everywhere#the cacophony#but Mary over there is all alone#and she’s like my minstrel is late#but we all fucking know#her minstrel has gone off to find her a baby#a nine month journey he must make alone#and until he comes back there is no music in her life#what a glorious world this would be#I love the minstrels (@onionjuggler)

bemusedlybespectacled:

bigolblackfreak:

therealproteinpowder2486:

haneefistheonlyone:

Something done right

It’ll never happen

Hollywood would rather burn.

I’ll get the matches

bemusedlybespectacled:

bigolblackfreak:

therealproteinpowder2486:

haneefistheonlyone:

Something done right

It’ll never happen

Hollywood would rather burn.

I’ll get the matches

properflacko:

wonderful

properflacko:

wonderful

notsograndr:

callmehopeless-notromantic:

d0ugieslizard:

mjolnirss:

alfuhdawg:

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IT’S THE “AGED 27 1/3” BIT THAT MAKES ME CRY WITH LAUGHTER

this kills me!

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They actually did it, too.

this is the most adorable thing i’ve seen in my life